Temptation Cruise Detailed Review (2024) | Swingers Cruise Vacation Review | Adults Only Cruise Vacations

Temptation Cruise Detailed Review (2024) | Swingers Cruise Vacation Review | Adults Only Cruise Vacations

Temptation Cruise 2024: An Insider’s Review from a young Swinger Couple’s Perspective

If you’re curious about the Temptation Cruise experience, you’re in the right place! This post provides a detailed breakdown of Temptation Cruise 2024: the highlights, the activities, and everything in between. Whether you’re considering booking next year or just want an insider’s perspective, we’ve got you covered.

For an even more in-depth discussion, check out our hour-long podcast episode here. You can also view our more condensed version with some video footage on our YouTube channel here. If you want a behind the scenes look, we have vlogs of each day on our YouTube channel, and you can find that playlist here!

If you do decide to book after reading this post, we would greatly appreciate if you considered booking your vacation through our link! It helps support our content and doesn’t cost you anything extra! It also will put you part of our 4OURPLAY Group, where we do exclusive meet-ups and activities on the ship, have a private Facebook group and VIP Discord server, as well as give out exclusive goodie bags!

Demographics

Temptation Cruise offers a unique blend of fun, spice, adventure, and community. Unlike traditional lifestyle events, this cruise is more of an “adult spring break” and is not officially labeled as a swinging or lifestyle cruise. However, many attendees are either in the lifestyle or what we like to call, lifestyle-adjacent, where they do know about the swinging lifestyle, and the majority of couples and guests fall somewhere on that spectrum. When it comes to swinging activities, we did find couples to have some very sexy experiences with!

The age demographic skews younger than other lifestyle events, with most guests ranging from their mid-30s to mid-50s. While the largest group is in the 40-50 range, you’ll also see plenty of people in their late 20s to early 30s. The vibe is youthful and party-centric, with a crowd that’s very open, kind, and approachable.

A majority of the guests on the cruise are couples, with a smaller percentage consisting of singles. Among the singles, men do outnumber women. However, the singles on this cruise stand out for their respectful and considerate behavior, far from the stereotypes often associated with singles at traditional “vanilla” clubs or events. The five-night duration and being on a cruise seems to attract individuals who are genuinely invested in the lifestyle, putting in the effort to be thoughtful and positive members of the community.

The Ship

This year’s cruise took place aboard the Celebrity Summit, a midsize ship with a capacity of approximately 2,200 guests. The Spring sailing of the Temptation Cruise has been hosted on this ship for the past five years. Its layout makes it easy to navigate and fosters connection, with many activities focused around key areas like the main pool and the solarium.

The ship is designed more for lounging and conversation, lacking high-energy activity features such as slides, mini golf, or ziplines.

In 2025, the Spring Temptation Cruise (Feb 2025) will move to the Norwegian Pearl, while the newly introduced Fall Temptation Cruise (Nov 2025) sailing will be held aboard the Norwegian Jewel, offering attendees a fresh and exciting experience on both voyages.

Playroom

A key feature is the couples-only playroom, which was located on the fourth floor this year. The space transforms into an enclosed, “X-rated” area during the night. It’s designed for exhibitionists, with open layouts featuring mattresses and lounge chairs. Entry is exclusively for couples, fostering a friendly and respectful atmosphere.

That said, we felt the playroom could benefit from a more thoughtful design. Currently, the mattresses are placed directly on the floor, with no private spaces or options for beds with sheer or opaque curtains. Adding such features would create a more varied and intimate experience. Elevating the beds off the floor would also enhance the overall aesthetic, making the environment feel more elegant and sensual.

On a positive note, the lighting and fragrance in the space were well-considered, contributing to a pleasant ambiance. Security staff were present and attentive, ensuring the rules were respected. Guests observing were encouraged to remain quiet and courteous, which helped maintain the playroom’s respectful vibe.

Pool Areas

The main pool deck is the heart of the action during the day. It includes:

  • A central party pool surrounded by standing areas.

  • A deeper swimming pool for cooling off.

  • Four hot tubs, which are always busy.

At the back of the ship, the solarium provides a fully nude area with two large hot tubs and a heated pool. While not everyone is nude, the solarium’s optional nudity policy makes it a popular spot.

Theme Nights and Parties

Day Themes

Themed pool parties on sea days included:

  • Colorpop Party: Bright and fun colors.

  • Inflatable Party: Featuring beach balls and pool floats.

Night Themes

Each evening featured a different theme, such as:

  • Pajama/Onesie Night

  • Toga Party

  • Animal Party

  • Pimps and Hoes

  • Glow-in-the-Dark Party (a crowd favorite)

While the themes leaned toward a collegiate vibe, the glow party remains a highlight every year. Many attendees embraced the themes with creative outfits, adding to the festive atmosphere.

Food and Drinks

Beverage Package

Alcohol and basic beverages are included with the cruise. Guests could upgrade to a premium package for $90 per person, which covered top-shelf liquors and specialty drinks. For 2025, there will be a single unlimited beverage package with Starbucks options available separately.

Dining Options

The Celebrity Summit offers exceptional food:

  • Buffet: Extensive options for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, including themed daily menus.

  • Main Dining Room: Formal dining with varied nightly menus.

  • Specialty Restaurants: Additional-cost options like sushi, steak, and an animation-themed restaurant.

The staff is highly accommodating to dietary restrictions, ensuring an enjoyable experience for everyone.

Activities and Entertainment

Daytime Activities

The Playmakers hosted engaging games and activities, such as:

  • Topless belly flop competitions

  • Sexy trivia

  • Relay races and stretching sessions

There were also hands-on workshops and seminars catering to various interests.

Shows

Evening entertainment included:

  • Erotic Soiree: A mix of burlesque and acrobatics.

  • Comedians and Musical Acts: Lounge performances with sexy spins on classic songs.

  • Adult Scavenger Hunt: An interactive, team-based game that’s a fan favorite.

Nightlife

The nighttime parties started on the main pool deck, transitioned to the Sky Lounge, and eventually moved to the solarium. The DJs played a broader range of music this year, though some attendees wished for more sensual and R&B tracks.

Ports and Excursions

This year’s itinerary included stops in Nassau, Bahamas, and Cozumel, Mexico. In Cozumel, an adult-only, topless-optional excursion to a private island was available. Traditional excursions like snorkeling and dolphin encounters were also offered.

Miscellaneous Notes

Affordability

Temptation Cruise is a budget-friendly lifestyle vacation compared to other options, offering excellent value with its included unlimited beverage package and reasonable pricing.

Temptation Cruises are all-inclusive, meaning accommodations, food, beverages, and most on-ship activities are covered (excluding certain specialty classes or restaurants). However, excursions, specialty dining, and some workshops come at an additional cost.

Two-person interior cabins start at $1,850, not including approximately $400–$450 per person for port charges, taxes, document fees, gratuities, and administrative/security fees.

Staff and Accommodations

The Celebrity Summit ship was refurbished in 2021, featuring modern, comfortable rooms. The staff, both from Temptation and Celebrity Cruises, provided exceptional service, contributing to a comfortable and fun experience!

Final Thoughts

Temptation Cruise 2024 delivered an unforgettable experience, blending luxury, fun, and community. Whether you’re new to lifestyle events or a “seasoned swinger,” this cruise offers something for everyone!

If you’re considering joining in 2025, we highly recommend booking early to secure your spot and get the best prices, as prices will steadily increase as we get closer to sailing!

If this post has inspired you to book your vacation, we’d be thrilled if you booked your vacation with us here at 4OURPLAY! Booking through our link not only supports our content at no extra cost to you but also grants you access to our exclusive 4OURPLAY Group! As part of the group, you’ll enjoy private meet-ups and activities onboard, access to a members-only Facebook group and VIP Discord server, and receive exclusive gifts!

Thank you for reading, and don’t forget to check out our podcast and vlogs for even more details.

We hope to see you onboard a future sailing!

Temptation Cancun Resort Review (2022) – A Lifestyle Couple’s Honest Experience

Temptation Cancun Resort Review (2022) – A Lifestyle Couple’s Honest Experience

Temptation Cancun Resort Review – A Lifestyle Couple’s Honest Experience

Welcome to our review of Temptation Resort in Cancun, Mexico!

If you prefer reviews in video format, you can watch our YouTube video review here, or if you prefer reviews in audio format, you can listen to our podcast episode review here. Make sure to read until the end to get exclusive sale prices.

First, a little background on us: we’re Bella and Jase, two high school sweethearts since 2007 who opened up our relationship in 2014. We’re currently both 30 years old at the time of this blog post, and we’ve been in the swinging lifestyle for 8 years.

Now, a little background on Temptation Resort: it’s a swinger lifestyle-friendly resort, which means that while it’s not specifically geared towards the lifestyle, it’s open to it. They market themselves as “playground for adults” and “spring break for adults,” which is really a perfect representation of what it feels like. It’s also all inclusive, making your vacation easy and fun without the fuss.

Photo courtesy of Temptation Cancun Resorts

This post may contain affiliate links, which means we may receive a commission if you make a purchase using these links, at no extra cost to you!

Demographic

We found the crowd at Temptation was mostly 30-45, with quite a few bachelorette and bachelor parties and singles. Generally, it was a much more attractive and young crowd than we’re used to seeing compared to the typical swinger lifestyle scene. Many of the people we met were open-minded, but not near that many individuals or couples who were actively participating in the lifestyle or labeled themselves “lifestyle” or “swingers.” However, we did meet some couples in their late 30s, 40s, and 50s who were more established in the lifestyle.

Many of the people we met at Temptation described themselves as open-minded, but not necessarily lifestyle. We noticed the majority of single guys particularly and some of the open-minded couples didn’t quite have the same level of lifestyle etiquette as those who were more actively involved in the lifestyle.

It’s important to always communicate and respect boundaries, whether you’re in a lifestyle relationship or not. While we have played with people who are go-with-the-flow or open-minded in the past, we’ve found that boundaries can sometimes be crossed when people haven’t communicated enough in their relationship. This can lead to unexpected emotions and discomfort for everyone involved. That’s why we personally prefer being around couples who are more established in the lifestyle, as we feel like they tend to have better communication and boundaries in place.

It’s worth noting that Temptation Resort is much busier on the weekends compared to weekdays. On Saturdays, the resort will feel like it is at capacity and is a very different feel from Monday through Wednesday. We personally stayed there Monday-Wednesday, but our friend who was there throughout the weekend described the weekdays feeling only 25% as busy as the weekend.

If you are looking for a more busy and lively atmosphere at the resort, it’s highly recommended to visit on a weekend, specifically Thursday through Sunday.

Rooms & Amenities

Tower at Temptations Room, Photo courtesy of Temptation Cancun Resorts

When it comes to the property itself, Temptation Resort is quite large, with 430 rooms. There’s the “Towers at Temptation,” with more expensive rooms and access to the Sky Tower (known as Sky 3.5), which has an exclusive VIP section, with its own separate pool, hot tub, and casual restaurant. It’s less crowded than the other pool areas as well. However, access to these amenities was only granted to guests staying in the tower rooms or premier members,  as we found out when we were not allowed up to the Sky Tower with our friend who was staying in one of these rooms.

Garden View Room, Photo courtesy of Temptation Cancun Resorts

In addition to the tower rooms, there were also rooms located on either side of the property. We opted for a garden view room which we really liked because it was an easy walk to the pool and food options and was a quiet getaway from all the party action.

Regardless of the room type or building, they all had very similar same decor style and furniture. While the decor in the rooms were meant to be modern and funky, we thought it felt a little cheap, like it was trying to achieve a spring break vibe with Ikea-style furnishings.

The rooms themselves also seemed a bit worn down when looking up close in the corners and interestingly, the bathrooms had no shower doors, which we later learned was due to guests trying to fit too many people in the showers and breaking the doors, so they ultimately opted to remove them and design it as an open air shower space. This just made showers a bit colder than what we would have preferred.

Nothing to deter us away from having a fun and comfortable stay though! We overall thoroughly enjoyed the fresh vibe of the rooms.

Pools & Bars

Photo courtesy of Temptation Cancun Resorts

We were completely blown away by the size of the main party pool. The party pool is where all the events and games are held, and it has a ginormous pool bar that seemed to be the hub of activity during the day with everyone enjoying themselves.

In addition to the party pool, there is a quiet pool called, appropriately enough, the “Quiet Pool.” It’s a little bit smaller, but we really appreciated that because it provided a peaceful and quiet area to relax and get away from the crowds. The quiet pool also has its own bar, hot tubs, and plenty of chairs and shade.

We noticed most of the guests seemed to gravitate towards the main pool, which is huge and has features like whirlpools inside the pools itself and a huge awning for shade right by the connected and busy pool bar.

Bars & Drinks

Photo courtesy of Temptation Cancun Resorts

You won’t run out of places to get drinks since there are tons of bars around the property. In addition to the pool bars, there is a bar outside the lobby where the night time party is held, a bar inside the lobby, the exclusive Sky Tower bar, and you can order drinks at any of the many restaurants on the property when dining there.

Temptation is an all-inclusive resort, so your basic brands of alcohol and drinks are included, but premium alcohol and spirits are reserved for Premium guests only or for an extra cost.

The mini bar in your room’s mini-fridge was also included and restocked every day, which was nice and convenient. This was especially helpful for the water bottles.

Playrooms?

One major thing to note is there is no playroom at Temptation. If you want a playroom, it’s your room or your friends’ room. There’s no on-premise playroom and that’s because it’s not a lifestyle resort, just lifestyle friendly. This resort is known for being or what they marketed as, “playground for adults” or “adult spring break.”

Beach

The beach area is a great place to relax and get away from the hustle and bustle of the pool area. There are plenty of chairs available, and the beach itself is not usually very crowded. There are also specific areas for Premier Members and Tower guests if you want a more exclusive and private experience.

You can opt to paying extra to experience different excursions offered by the resort or along the beach, or leave the resort and explore Cancun.

Food

Photo courtesy of Temptation Cancun Resorts

The resort has a variety of dining options, including a breakfast and lunch buffet and a Mexican buffet every night. There are also several restaurants to choose from, including a steakhouse with a live erotic dance show called She, an Asian restaurant with sushi and hibachi, an Italian restaurant, a seafood restaurant, an outdoor casual restaurant by the pool serving American classics like burgers and fries.

Make sure to make reservations for the interactive dance steakhouse restaurant called “She” early in the day because slots fill up fast. Jase stood in line about 40 minutes before reservations opened as the restaurant to secure us a date night there. Reservations are only made day-of and are not available in advanced.

While the food at the resort is generally decent, the cafe serving smoothies, coffee, tea, and pretzels, and the show at She were particularly noteworthy. It’s resort food – something for everyone, but nothing necessarily mind blowing. 

Late night snacks and comfort foods are also available for guests who have been partying and need a bite to eat before bed. This lasted all the way until early morning, up to approximately 4-5AM and really hit the spot after a long night of partying.

The restaurants’ decor and vibe was gorgeous. It really did live up to the modern, upscale, trendy, sexy, and vibrant vibe that the resort is going for. It was fun getting dressed up every night and have an intimate date night together before the theme night parties got started.

Staff

Temptation Resort’s staff, including the Playmakers, restaurant staff, and bar staff, were all highly attentive and provided excellent service.

The Playmakers, in particular, stood out for their friendliness, model-looks, and ability to bond with guests. They were always interactive and made an effort to get to know and have fun with the guests and were definitely a highlight of the vacation experience as they kept the party going with their infectious and fun energy.

The room cleaning staff were also efficient and thorough, and the bar and restaurant staff were friendly and attentive, although it may take longer to get a drink at the busier bars. Tipping can definitely help to expedite service at the bars and goes a long way for any of the staff members.

Gym & Spa

Photo courtesy of Temptation Cancun Resorts

The gym is very large with pretty much any equipment you need. It’s a really nice gym with hardly anyone ever in it, so you’re free to have a great workout if you’re looking for one.

The spa offers massages (both singles and couples), facials, beauty salon with manicures, pedicures, waxing, body painting, and hair services.

Activities

Temptation Resort offers a wide variety of activities and games, with the Playmakers as the main attraction. They host foam parties, dancing shows, and a variety of games at the pool, including a Mr. Temptation contest, a perfect couple contest, and naked tequila volleyball.

The foam parties are especially fun, with floaties, dancers, and a fun party vibe with all the guests. Pro tip: splash water on the foam to make it more manageable so you don’t get overwhelmed with the height of the foam!

There are also other games and activities throughout the day, such as trivia and volleyball. A schedule of events can be found on the TV in each guest room. Overall, the Playmakers and the activities they host are a major highlight of the resort and provide endless entertainment for guests.

Theme Nights

Photo courtesy of Temptation Cancun Resorts

Temptation Resort offers a variety of theme nights throughout the year, including animal print, lace and lingerie, and glitter and glam. These themes are a great opportunity for guests to get creative and have fun dressing up, although it seems that not all guests participate fully in the themes.

The resort’s theme nights are similar to those at a lifestyle/swingers club, and while women tend to be more enthusiastic about dressing up in theme, only about 50% of guests overall participate. The themes at Temptation Resort may change throughout the year for specific events and holidays and they completely change annually, so be sure to check the website for updates before your visit.

Night Time Entertainment & Dance Parties

The resort offers nightly shows that feature a variety of dancing and entertainment. The shows take place on a central stage and are located outside of the lobby, on a platform located on the second floor, overlooking the gorgeous Main Pool.

The shows did tend to start about 15-20 minutes late, but are well worth the wait as they are very fun and entertaining. In addition to the energetic dance shows that matched the theme nights, one night had almost a Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show vibe – complete with the Playmakers and dancers walking around the stage area in beautiful lingerie with colorful costume-like wings.

Right after the show, the Playmakers engage with guests and will invite them onto the stage platform (which is just in the middle of the outside party area) to dance and get the night time party started. The music is diverse and well-balanced, featuring a mix of EDM, top 40, pop, 80s, and reggaeton. The DJ knew how to read the crowd and we highly praise his selection of music that was played throughout the daytime pool parties as well as night time parties.

Clothing Optional?

Temptation Resort is a topless optional resort, meaning that while nudity is not allowed, guests are allowed to go topless if they choose at the pool and hot tub areas.

We found about half of the women guests were topless, although it is not required and no one will make you feel pressured to do so. It is important to note that everything at the resort is consensual and no one will be made to feel uncomfortable if they do not want to go topless.

Many women also chose to wear pasties instead of fully topless as well and the overall vibe of the pool was “upscale resort” with many ladies wearing fashionable bikinis. While it is topless optional, guests should feel comfortable with their own level of clothing or lack thereof.

“Boobs Cruise”

There is an optional excursion called the Boobs Cruise, which takes place on Mondays and Fridays. The Boobs Cruise is not affiliated with the resort, but many Temptation guests choose to participate.

The Boobs Cruise is a 4-6 hour party on a boat and is known for being wild, with reports of many people having sex on board. The excursion is all-inclusive and includes lunch and alcohol.

Some guests have reported that the single male attendees at Temptation Resort are not always well-behaved and can be creepy or disrespectful. Because of this, we chose to opt-out of Boobs Cruise as we would want to go with a group of friends or specific group that is part of the lifestyle community.

Since we’re accustomed to public sex acts as we’re regular guests at full swinger resorts, cruises, hotel takeovers, and clubs, we didn’t find this activity to be particularly exciting, but we can see how someone who isn’t used to swinger lifestyle activities could be excited to try out an excursion like this.

Conclusion

We enjoyed the high energy vibe, vibrant guests, younger demographic, and the playmakers at the resort, but we also noticed that the majority of guests were not actually part of the swinger lifestyle community and the resort tends to attract a lot of people (groups of singles specifically) who are there to party. 

Based on our experience, we would recommend Temptation Resort for those looking to have a good time, but we would caution that it may not be the best choice for those solely seeking the lifestyle aspect of a resort.

We loved our time there and would definitely go back, but we would do both Temptation and Desire Riviera Maya during the same trip and we would prefer to split our stay between the two, perhaps spending three or four days at Temptation followed by a break in an Airbnb or different hotel before continuing the trip at Desire RM. We would make sure to spend Thursday-Sunday at both resorts since it’s the most lively and fun during the weekends. This way we can have our cake and eat it too!

Another thing to note is Temptation would most likely be our top resort pick if it was fully or majority swinger lifestyle couples/people. A full lifestyle takeover at Temptation Resort would be ideal in our opinion for a young swinger lifestyle couple looking for a fun, vibrant, party vibe with more people similar in age (late 20s-30s).

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Hopefully this review helps you decide if Temptation Resort is the right place for your next vacation! If our content helped in any way, please consider booking through our banners above or link (you can apply the promo code either way), which doesn’t cost you any extra, but gives us a small percentage of what you pay to help us be able to continue to make this type of content for you!

If you’d like to party with the 4OURPLAY Squad and be part of our group, check our travel plans and book when we’re there! Let’s connect, make new friends, and have a great time together!

Why Are Non-Monogamous People Proud To Be Polyamorous but Ashamed To Identify As Swingers?

Why Are Non-Monogamous People Proud To Be Polyamorous but Ashamed To Identify As Swingers?

Why Are Non-Monogamous People Proud To Be Polyamorous but Ashamed To Identify As Swingers?

A swinger couple’s perspective on the stigma placed on swinging vs polyamory

“I’m monogamous, but I’d be far less embarrassed to be polyamorous than be a swinger.”
“Polyamory just seems more respectable than swinging.”
“At least there’s more to polyamory than just sex.”
– Users’ comments on our various TikTok videos

The term “swinging” has long been associated with non-monogamous behavior, specifically, couples engaging in sexual activity with other people outside of their relationship. However, this term has often been looked down upon and carries a negative connotation.

One reason for this negative perception is that swinging is often associated with a lack of emotional connection and a focus solely on sexual pleasure. This can be seen as shallow and superficial, leading to the perception that those who engage in swinging are lacking in some way.

In contrast, polyamory is often seen as a more “respectable” form of non-monogamy because it involves building romantic connections with multiple partners. This is generally seen as a “more mature and fulfilling” way of engaging in non-monogamous relationships.

However, these perceptions of swinging and polyamory are not fair or accurate. Both can be healthy and fulfilling ways of engaging in non-monogamous relationships, as long as all parties involved are fully informed and consenting.

For many couples who practice swinging as their form of consensual non-monogamy, it’s about much more than just mindless pleasure-seeking.

Like polyamory, at its core, swinging is about openly and honestly communicating with one’s partner(s) about their sexual desires and boundaries, and finding like-minded individuals who share similar interests. It’s a way of exploring one’s sexuality in a safe, judgment-free environment and strengthening the bond between partners.

Swinging can provide a sense of excitement and adventure in addition to being a way of fostering trust and open communication within the relationship. It’s a way of breaking free from societal norms and expectations and embracing one’s sexuality in a way that feels authentic and true to oneself.

There is one key difference between swinging and polyamory: the role of romantic monogamy.

Many couples who engage in swinging (typically this is with other couples together) prioritize maintaining a strong emotional bond with one another and prioritize their own romantic relationship. However, swingers often develop deep friendships with the other people they engage with sexually.

These friendships are built on trust, communication, and mutual respect, and having some sort of emotional or intimate friendship connection, albeit not romantic, plays an important role in choosing potential play partners and friends. They are trusting another person to be sexually intimate with someone they love and don’t take that lightly.

Swinging is much more than just meaningless, hedonistic sex with multiple partners. The incorrect stereotype of the label “swinger” has deterred many people, the newer generation specifically, from using the term and identifying as swingers, even if it’s what best describes their relationship dynamic.

Being a young swinger couple ourselves, both 30 years old at the time of writing this and swinging since we were 22, we’re confused why there’s such a stigma of the term compared to polyamory. Both are valid types of open relationships, yet the polyamorous community is proud to identify as poly or polyamorous and the swinging community is scoffed at when using our label. We can use the general term and say we’re “open,” but identifying as swingers defines the type of relationship dynamic we have, are proud of having, and we shouldn’t be ashamed of it.

It’s important for the non-monogamy community to come together and support each other, rather than judging and criticizing those who engage in different forms of non-monogamy. By doing so, we can help to normalize open relationships and reduce the stigma that still surrounds them.

Swinging and polyamory are both valid forms of non-monogamy, and it’s time for us to move beyond the negative stereotypes and embrace them as part of a diverse and healthy community and society.

Bella Luna’s Shibari Rope Recommendations

 

*Disclaimer:

There are many ways to practice shibari/kinbaku/Japanese rope bondage. My recommendations included in this post are what I personally use and my content shows how I personally choose to tie/practice shibari.

I mainly do aesthetic and fashion self-ties and do not do any suspension.

By posting what I use does not mean it is the best for you or anyone else. My content is meant to inspire and show my own rope art.

Pease make sure to do your own research on the subject of shibari prior.

Knot & Rope Supply

1/4 in. Solid Braid MFP (multi-filament polypropylene)

Colors I use regularly: black, red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple, pink

Everbilt 1/4 in. White Braided Polyester Clothesline

This is what I used to begin with and still use regularly! It’s easily accessible and a good price; perfect to try out and see if you’re interested in the hobby.

It comes in 100 ft. and I cut it into 3 x 33 ft bundles.

I also dye this rope with various colors of Rit Dye to create my own custom rope colors.

*Not recommended for suspension

Haul-Masters 1/4 in. Glow in the Dark Polypropylene Rope

This is the UV colored rope I use! It’s fluorescent polypropylene and can glow in the dark for up to 5 hours and be charged for up to 6 months (just put up to a light to gain the glow back).

It comes in 100 ft. and I cut it into 3 x 33 ft bundles.

*Not recommended for suspension

How I Overcame Performance Anxiety Induced ED (Erectile Dysfunction) in the Swinging Lifestyle

How I Overcame Performance Anxiety Induced ED (Erectile Dysfunction) in the Swinging Lifestyle

How I Overcame Performance Anxiety Induced ED (Erectile Dysfunction) in the Swinging Lifestyle

One of the most common questions we get asked regarding the swinging lifestyle from men is, “Is it normal to experience sexual performance anxiety and have issues getting an erection in the lifestyle?”

It’s something that seems to have such a stigma, but is something we’ve come across often in the lifestyle, and it’s something I’ve personally experienced as well.

This post may contain affiliate links, which means we may receive a commission if you make a purchase using these links, at no extra cost to you!

Disclaimer: The following is a sponsored post by ShamelessCare.com.

Performance anxiety is nervousness experienced before or during sexual activity, typically affecting one’s ability to have successful or satisfactory sex.

People, including me in the past, usually think erectile dysfunction, or ED, happens much later in life. Something I wouldn’t ever have to worry about until I was at least in my mid-70s. So you could imagine how I felt when performance anxiety-induced ED happened to me at age 24 in a lifestyle play session with my wife and another couple.

I was receiving oral, good oral at that, from the other wife while my wife was with her husband. It was hot, she was gorgeous, and their home was beautiful, but I couldn’t get it up, and I didn’t know why. It’s never happened before, and I immediately thought something had to be wrong with me.

“Would I ever be able to get hard again? Does she think she’s doing something wrong? Because she’s not. I don’t want her think I’m not attracted to her. I’m embarrassed. What does Bella (my wife) think? What does her husband think? I don’t want the play session to have to stop just because of me. I’m only 24, this isn’t supposed to happen. Just work. Work, damn it. Why won’t you just work!?

I just kept spiraling down further and further. Bella (my wife) and I took a break and went to the bathroom together to regroup. She comforted me and told me everything was okay and that it was completely okay to go home. We decided that was the best thing to do and thanked them for having us, and I apologized to the couple.

They were so nice about it. He said something along the lines of, “Hey man, it happens. It’s okay.” She said the same thing. It made me feel better, but I still beat myself up about it.

The next couple of months were rough. I was getting performance anxiety during intimate sex with my wife and me alone now, not even in a lifestyle setting. I was worried she didn’t think I loved her. I worried that my getting an erection would always be an issue and we wouldn’t be able to have sex without it being a big ordeal ever again. I just kept spiraling over and over. Over the next few years, I would have many good months, then a couple bad weeks, then go a while being okay, then get in my head again.

But – with time, a lot of communication, working on my mental health, accepting that it’s okay to experience this, and being open to trying medication, I was able to work past my performance anxiety. Know that if you’re have trouble with it, you can get past it too!

Here are the steps I took:

1. Talk about it openly with your partner.

I had countless talks about this with my wife, Bella. Being able to tell someone, especially someone I loved who was there when it happened, felt like a weight off my shoulders. She was able to reassure me and tell me all the things I was worried about were silly. The key for me here was to truly believe what she says when she was helping me.

2. Get out of your head.

Try to be in the moment and truly experience the moment that’s currently happening. When you focus on the moment and take in what’s happening, enjoying the moment and time, having fun, and enjoying the pleasure, it’s harder to think about yourself.

3. Focus on another person.

Whether that’s your partner or the other person’s partner, take a break from getting pleasured and focus on giving pleasure. It’s hot, which can get you going again, and also gets your mind off of yourself.

4. Remember, the lifestyle is not about performing. You are not acting in a porno and you’re not expected to be a porn star.

Having a lifestyle experience isn’t about putting on a performance. Take the pressure off of yourself! No one is expecting you to perform in any specific way. It’s not about orgasming either. Don’t feel bad about yourself if it doesn’t end in cumming.

5. Reassure your partner or play partner that it’s not them.

I had a lot of trouble with this because I just didn’t want my wife or the play partner I was with to think she was doing anything wrong or that I didn’t find her attractive. I would feel horrible if they thought my issue had anything to do with them. Once I realized the women I was with knew it was a me-thing and not a them-thing, it helped me get past it a ton.

6. Go back to your own partner.

If performance anxiety-induced ED happens to you during a swap, try going back to your own partner. This is your safe space and will help you feel more comfortable by taking a lot of pressure off. No one knows how to get you going as much as your own partner and you’ll know for sure they aren’t judging you.

Feel free to take a breather with your partner too. Go to the bathroom together and regroup. Get the reassurance you need and talk it through. Know that it’s okay to stop the play session. If you feel uncomfortable voicing it out loud during play, you and your partner can make a body language or hand gesture that’s almost like a safe word – where if either of you see that, you know to get back to each other and take a break.

If the other couple is going to make you feel bad about it, they’re not the right couple for you and to be frank, good riddance!

7. Lastly, the 7th step I did was being open to taking medication for ED.

At first, I was nervous about taking any kind of ED medication because I didn’t want it to be something I depended on when I knew my ED was caused by anxiety. My wife was worried that I would have to take something and schedule sex with her. We had a long talk about it and did a ton of research to learn more about the drug itself before I decided it was something I wanted to try.

Before I started taking Tadalafil – a generic version of Cialis (or as my wife calls it, erection ehancers!), I wanted my mental health to be in a good space. Once I got it under control and was confident in myself and accepted that it’s okay to experience performance anxiety and that it was completely normal, I got prescribed a low dose of Tadalafil (5mg) and started taking it before going to lifestyle events and clubs. 

It truly was a game changer for me. It gave me peace of my mind and ever since taking it, even when I start to get in my head, I’m always able to get an erection. When I have that reassurance in my head, I’m able to keep staying in the moment and enjoy the experience and haven’t had performance anxiety-induced ED since.

Getting the prescription was so easy too! I didn’t want to see my primary care provider for it because I didn’t want to have to explain my lifestyle to her and get into why I was having erectile dysfunction issues. We live in a conservative state and truly, I just didn’t think she would get it and didn’t want to be judged since it’s our family doctor.

I tried out a couple ED businesses in the past, but my favorite by far has been Shameless Care. They reached out to us as fellow swingers and their company is based on judgment free lifestyle healthcare for the consensual non-monogamous community. Not only do they provide ED drugs, but they also have STI home testing!

It’s so refreshing finding a health care company created by people in the lifestyle FOR people in the lifestyle. I feel heard and I feel seen and I feel comforted.

Shameless Care Review

1. You start off by choosing your preferred treatment (Sildenafil or Tadalafil) and your preferred dosage. Their service is a three-month recurring subscription of whichever medication and dosage you choose.

2. You check out, and then take an in-depth questionnaire about your health. It takes about 10-15 minutes.

3. After submitting the questionnaire, depending on your state, you may need a doctor to do a telehealth call. If so, they will reach out to you. Otherwise, you just wait for your shipment! If someone needs to contact you regarding your questionnaire, they will do so by either phone or e-mail.

4. I placed my order on a Monday and my shipment came on a Friday. Just in time for the weekend!

The package was in a sleek black package. Super discreet! The “from” address line was from “Shipping Department” and there were no labels or logos, so no one could suspect what was inside of it. The medicine containers were very sleek too! It was an all black container to match the packaging.

The process was quick, easy, and painless. That tied in with the fact that the basis of the company is tailored to health care for the ethnically non-monogamous community (aka my kind of people!) and created by fellow swingers, I couldn’t be happier.

Shameless Care was awesome enough to offer our readers $30 off their first order of ED medication!

Use the code “4P” to take advantage of the offer while you can!

Remember, performance anxiety and ED induced by it is totally normal and you’re not alone. You’d be surprised how many men have experienced it before, especially in the lifestyle.

You’re constantly experiencing new situations, new people, and new environments that most people don’t ever experience. It’s completely normal to feel overwhelmed and get anxious about it.

Choosing to take medication is also completely okay and totally normalized in the lifestyle as well. You’ll come across many men who take some type of ED medication at lifestyle events or clubs and we have never seen any type of judgment towards it!

If I can work past it, so can you! It’s not going to be a forever thing. You WILL work again. Hopefully, my tips were able to help you out some on your lifestyle journey!
– Jase